Why Are Women So Hard to Believe?

In 2020, Megan thee Stallion and Tory Lanez made headlines when an incident occurred in the wee hours of a July morning. There are many theories of what occurred and how but the basis of the incident is that Megan was shot and Tory had a gun. Megan stated that Tory pulled the trigger but Tory denies this adamantly. This led the world to wonder... Who shot Meg? Personally, I have strong opinions on who shot Meg and whether that person should be convicted for that crime but that is not what this is about.

Since that day, the District Attorney's office (in Los Angeles), decided to charge Tory Lanez with felony assault and carrying an unregistered firearm. A judge put a protective order in place that prohibits Tory from being in the vicinity of Megan and there have been many reports from the court proceedings that have been in session since charges have been pressed. The public has been provided with X-Rays, text messages, and witness accounts as well.

In April of 2022, Megan thee Stallion took the time to sit down with Gayle King to discuss the events of the day she was shot. Watch below:

Throughout the interview, you can see that even after two years, it still greatly effects Meg. While she speaks clearly and earnestly, there is a great sense of sadness and trauma in her voice. To any empathetic person, it is abundantly clear she speaking from a place of experience and truth; yet there are still many conversations surrounding whether or not she is telling the truth. All of this leads me to the question -- Why is it so damn hard to believe women?

Society has it's way of convincing us that women are protected but is that really true? Let's take a look at some statistics. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) reported that in Georgia, domestic violence prevention programs responded to nearly 52,300 calls and provided shelter to more than 7,000 victims. They also reported that there was only one misdemeanor domestic violence case was reported. While I recognize that men can experience domestic violence as well, statistically, women are the majority*.

Based off of that information, one can conclude that women are experiencing domestic violence but no one is reaping consequences. Could it be that women that are experiencing intimate partner violence are too intimidated to report? Or could it be that these women do report and nothing is done? Honestly, it's probably both. And that is a problem.

You see, people seem to believe that because of a few outlying cases, women are lying about domestic violence and/or sexual assault in order to gain something when that is simply not the case. The research speaks for itself and if you don't believe me, try google. I am not here to convince you that what I am saying is true, I am here to ponder on why I have to convince you. Is it that women have no individuality unless they connect themselves to a man or a tragic event? Is it a fear that a woman will accuse someone they know or love of something heinous? Or is the patriarchy finding another way to oppress women?

From what I gather, people seem to think that women benefit from the damsel in distress storyline. It is my belief that it is not a benefit but instead a hindrance. Instead of recognizing that something awful and traumatic happened to a human being, society automatically sees it as a woman trying play victim in all situations and name men as the "bad guy". This mindset immediately dehumanizes the victim and shifts the conversation into a blame game. It blinds us from seeing the facts and details of the situation and pushes us to imagine if it were us in the situation.

I also have to wonder if Meg looked different, would we be more inclined to hear her out? What if her skin tone was different? What if she wasn't taller than the average man? What if her body type was different? Or even, what if her rap lyrics were different? Maybe we would all listen a little closer. Maybe we wouldn't still be debating whether or not she is telling the truth.

"If I were Tory Lanez, I wouldn't want someone to lie about me and say I committed this crime" is the common thought. Some may even say "If I were Megan thee Stallion, I would lie and say Tory Lanez did it because he's popular". Hear me out though, I think if I were any of them... I prefer that none of this would happen. Unfortunately, it did happen and if the public is going to have an opinion, have one based in fact, good sense, and empathy -- not an opinion where you are picking a side.

*1 in 4 women experience intimate partner violence. 1 in 10 men experience intimate partner violence.

NCADV: https://ncadv.org/

More information about the case against Tory Lanez: https://www.thecut.com/2022/04/megan-thee-stallion-and-tory-lanezs-assault-case-recap.html